afrancis’ blog

            I’m not really sure how to sum up my experiences in the classroom thus far. I guess most importantly I am still here, which is an accomplishment in itself. I find teaching to be an overwhelmingly demanding job, not just professionally, but emotionally.

             I didn’t want to go to work this morning. My alarm went off at 5:45 a.m. , snooze, 6:00 a.m , snooze and then I just laid there for 30 minutes debating whether or not to show up for work.  My cheerleading squad of 11 decided to unanimously quit the team yesterday, as if to punish me for trying to instill some sense of discipline in them. It hurt; it was a slap in the face. In the shower, I made a compromise with myself, I would go to work 20 minutes late, but cancel cheerleading.

            I was talking to my good (TFA) friend, and we were trying to identify the type of relationship we have with our students. It’s an awkwardly fluid dynamic in my classroom. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I love them (some of them I do), but despite how they mistreat me and sabotage their own education, I still care. I’ve come to see right through their anger, frustration, and insecurities.  I’ve learned to detach myself from their misbehavior. That’s probably why the whole cheerleading incident was so upsetting, because for the first time in a long time, I had allowed my students to manipulate my emotions.

            My students know more about my life day to day than my very own mother who gave me life itself.  They know when I’m in a bad mood, in a good mood, when I get a new pair of shoes, when I straighten my hair, when I don’t straighten my hair and so on. Moreover, they’re keen to point it out. Likewise, I know when their frustrated, motivated, going through a breakup, recovering from the flu, etc. I keep my observations to myself however.

            In terms of this course, I think Dr. Monroe is a very encouraging and positive instructor, and I did enjoy the discussions in her class. I appreciate her humility and her willingness to negotiate our unique teaching experiences with her expertise.  

While I do enjoy typing/facebooking on my free macbook as well as a scholarship to Ole Miss, undoubtedly the best part of Mississippi Teacher Corps is its participants. It is always refreshing to hear from my fellow corps members, and Pete Nelson’s class speech embodies the bittersweet experiences of teaching, studying and living with corps members in Mississippi. I can’t even imagine what this experience would be like if it weren’t for the MTC and TFAers with whom I vent, share stories, complain, swap favors, and drink margaritas.

In his speech, Pete Nelson discusses the forever-lingering questions “ is this all worth it?” Is leaving for work at 6:30 am, living 2000 miles away from home in the woods, and growing grey hairs for the sake of education all worth it? I don’t think I’m prepared to answer that question at this point. However, I will say that after going home for the first time, I have realized that this experience if anything is interesting. Ironically after waiting four long months to get a break from my students, it turns out that I spent most of that break thinking and talking about them.  I’ve become consumed with endless stories, jokes, and memories of my students that sound more like a Hollywood satire than a reality. It is not until you go home and talk to the people who know you best, that you realize how bizarre and surreal your life has become.

In addition to the story time with friends and family, over the break I decided to attend a History of Social Theory course with my friend who is still at U of T. I lasted about 15 minutes before I had to call it quits.  They were debating Durkheim’s sociology of religion and querying whether society was god, and I was debating whether or not to give my students extra credit. It is crazy to think that only 6 months ago I was a student, but my life has completely changed now.  As an equity studies major I spent four years in university mostly talking about making a difference. Yet now, as Pete points out, I am actually doing something, not just talking about it.  Is all my hard work actually making a difference? I think so.

I was like a lot of my students in high school. I never really wanted to work to my full potential and take advantage of all the resources available to me. I enjoyed my Spanish class, but I enjoyed cheerleading and hanging out with my friends even more. One of my Spanish teachers in particular always tried to push me, and expressed disappointment when I didn’t fully respond to her efforts. I had a growing interest in Cuba at the time, and as a Cuban exile, she made a conscious effort to share her experiences with me. It was not until I studied abroad in Cuba four years after taking her class, that I realized what an influence her teaching and stories had had on my trip and life.

My teacher fled Cuba when she was only 9 years old, and never returned thereafter. The Cuban government seized her family’s property over 50 years ago, and has been redistributing it ever since.  While I was in Havana, I went to her family’s former home to talk to the current homeowners and look around (they were Cuban, so of course they just let me right in). When I returned home, I shared the new family’s stories and gifts with my teacher.  It was in these emotional and powerful moments that I spent with my Spanish teacher, that I came to truly recognize and respect the central role that she and probably many other teachers have played in shaping my worldviews, opinions and life experiences.

As teachers we never know what sort of impact were having on our students’ lives. Unfortunately our success is not measurable or visible. If all I do is challenge one student to think in a new way, or inspire another student to make a change for the better, then yes, this will have all been worth it. 

In her speech about schools of education, Secretary of Education Anne Duncan discusses many of the challenges and rewards of teaching in today’s diverse and globalized society. Her speech primarily investigates the questionable role that schools of education play in preparing new teachers for these challenges.  Many of her remarks are reflected in my own personal experience as a teacher here in the Delta. 

Duncan argues that it takes a university to prepare a teacher.  However, as with many historical scholars who Duncan quotes, I too admittedly question whether good teachers are made or born. In my short teaching career, I have failed multiple times to effectively reach my students, and I wonder if this is the result of poor training or inexperience. On one hand, I agree with the three out of five ed school alum who feel as though “ they did not get the hands-on practical teacher training about managing the classroom that they needed, especially for high-needs students.”  There is no question that summer school training did not even closely mirror the strains and pains of managing a classroom of 25+ every period, every day, for a year.  I hate bitch and moan, but I received 0% training on how to teach Spanish prior to entering the classroom. Our program focuses so much on the disciplinary aspect of classroom management, that basic things like student attendance, monitoring student progress and actual quality teaching were overlooked.

On the other hand, I feel as though teaching may just be something that is learned through experience. Although I continue to struggle, I noticeably improve everyday as a teacher.  I am slowly beginning to understand my students, the faculty and the community in which I teach. It’s essentially been a process of trial and error. I’ve learned to always listen to advice, but not always take it.  What works in one classroom may not work in another. Also, teaching is unlike most other academic disciplines in that it is a performance based skill. One’s ability to think critically, knowledge of the subject content, organizational skills and so on does not indicate how successful they will be as a teacher. Some of my best-written lesson plans turned out to be a catastrophe, whereas some of my on the spot ideas have proven most effective.

Duncan makes a strong argument for reforming schools of education in her speech. However, I am still uncertain of the role the schools of ed. even play in preparing quality teachers. What I do know however, as both a teacher and student, is that education bears its fruit long after the seed has been planted. 

Reflect on a success you have had so far this school year.  How has this success changed you as a teacher/person? 

This is probably the toughest time to find a jewel in the rubble. For the past few weeks I have been exhausted, demoralized and impatient. It seems as though all my hard work is reaping havoc and chaos, rather than success. Therefore, I am really going to have to stretch to think positively about my classroom at this point. 

My success story for this year is that my fifth period class is finally under control! I used to dread this class at the beginning of the year. First, third and fourth period were all preparation for what was to come in fifth, and consequently my sixth and seventh periods were my recovery. I tried to mix things up this week by doing some El Día de los Muertos (Day of the dead) activities. I took a risk and decided to read some Mexican short scary stories with my class on Thursday, affording them the fair opportunity to not doze off and not pay attention. Surprisingly, my fifth period responded well to this activity. We turned off the lights and used the overhead projector as my spooky flashlight. I read them scary stories as they acted out what was going on. We then compared these stories with scary stories in our culture. 

Yes, this activity was elementary, but I often find that I have to do silly and childish things to capture my students' attention. We have now officially made Thursday throw-back Thursday, when we review elementary grammatical structures in English (nouns, pronouns, subject-verb agreement) because they need it. My scary story time was a fun way to review the elements of a short story as well as introduce them to a new aspect of Mexican culture. I'm glad that I now can enjoy my fifth period, rather than dreading it. 

          If I were to have done this blog on time, I'm sure my response at the time would have been much different for me. As of two or three weeks ago, my classroom management was somewhat decent. However with homecoming, the attitude and impatience in my classroom  really came home. I'm hoping that the past few weeks have been the ordinary October lull. My students have been as equally enthused to learn as I have been to teach. 

As it stands right now, I have no real classroom management plan. I used to do the whole writing the name on the board, warnings and writing assignments. Initially this was effective , particularly for good students who stepped out of line on the rare occasion. However, after a while it became the same students who were accumulating writing assignments. Of course ,my students refuse to make my life any easier than possible, so I often have to get an administrator to talk the student into even doing them. Then once the student has finally attempted the assignment, they do it half heartedly, misspelling words, using poor penmanship, and in some cases just overlooking entire sections of the copying assignment. Instead of teaching my class or breathing, I waste my time looking over the assignments for errors and skipped words, sentences and whole paragraphs. Then again I have to fall into the circle again of finding an administrator to make them do it again. 

What I've found is that it is very hard to be consistent with my old classroom management method. When my class breaks out into laughter or talking, I can't possibly write all of their names on the board.  Moreover, I found that I began to identify the same "troublemakers" every time, which is unfair. As it stand right now, it is everyman for himself. I no longer beg my students to do what they need to do. They have the choice to do their work and do well, or sit idly and fail. They can either behave and stay in class, or piss me off and get sent to the office.  For example, the other day my fourth period class got out of control. Not only did half my student show up late because there was a fight in the hall, but once they arrived they wouldn't shut up about it. I even gave them a one minute grace period to get all their feelings and opinions out. I tried starting class, yet they would not stop talking! So I continued with my lesson. Then, they all decided to put their head down in unison and make snoring noises. I continued with my lesson. When I was done with my set, I gave the whole class a writing assignment. I ignored their complaints. They started I went to my phone and demanded that someone come to my class immediately. For the first time all year, I yanked my ring leaders out of the classroom and firmly requested that they be suspended. 

Provided that my administration continues to be supportive, I will continue to send my students to the office to let my principal manage the issue. Often she will call the student's parents for a conference. While these conferences are often slow and interrupt my class time, so far they have been effective. I'm also hoping that their grades will begin to reflect their efforts or lack there of in my class. My classroom management plan has merged with my instructional plan. Very few student failed the first nine week. In fact, a very significant amount of students got A's in my class. This is mostly due to the fact that Spanish I is inherently easy, and partly due to my own leniency. Therefore,  a lot of students did not bear the academic consequences of their poor behavior. Now the choice is theirs, because I've already started handing out some F's. 

            Gary Rubinstein gives a very practical, straightforward advice in his blog post “High expectations? Not so fast.” Essentially he encourages teachers to keep it real. He emphasizes having realistic high expectations, not just convoluted, movie-like expectations.

            Luckily, I have never struggled with this romanticized view of teaching in a critical needs school. If anything, I worry that my expectation may be too low. All semester I have been dreading the negative reaction I would get from students and parents after the nine-weeks grades were finalized.  However, after finally determining my first nine-weeks grades, I am astonished by how well my students did. This is party due to grade inflation (tickets, extra credit, dropping lowest grades, etc.), but it most due to the fact that the students generally know what’s going on.  Surprise!

            I read the blog of an overly ambitious TFAer (typical:P) that Rubenstein linked to his blog. This idealistic teacher wanted the students to read over 24 pieces of literature from the British Anglo-Saxon period. I was so uninterested that I couldn’t even read the whole list. However, I can understand how teachers straight out of university could naively try to attune students to their own scholarly personal interests.

            Like this unnamed TFAer, I too have to teach at a level that is drastically below my own understanding in the subject.  I spent four years in university analyzing Medieval Iberian Literature and comparing the verb syntax in Golden Age Spanish literature with modern Spanish (very boring). Yet now, I am begging a bunch of teenagers to appropriately respond to ¿Cómo estás?  and to stop thinking that Canada is in Latin America. 

Often times my students will ask me questions that I very well know the answer to, like how to say things in the past or why do you say Soy de Misisipi instead of Estoy de Misisispi. Yet I know that I can’t give them the real answer because it will only confuse them at this point. And as we all know, once your students are confused, game over.

Maybe I’m also in a lucky position because I am probably the first and last Spanish teacher that most of my students will ever have. I think of myself really as a kindergarten teacher for grown kids with an attitude and baby mama drama.  My students don’t need any prior knowledge to do well in my class, so I do not have to compensate for the shortcomings of teachers/parents in years past. I also don’t have to prepare them for anything in particular, except maybe being able to order chicken at the Mexican restaurant or giving them a head start for an introductory Spanish course in university.

In conclusion, I agree with Rubenstein. Keep it real. I’m keeping it real. Any Spanish that I teach my students is more Spanish than they would have known otherwise.  I am more concerned with classroom management and fostering good academic skills in my classroom. 

            The assigned blog reading, Does homework work?  and the letter sent by the principal of Grant Elementary School both challenge the academic value of homework in traditional public education. They both argue that homework is more laborious than helpful.  As an alternative, they advocate the time out of school be spent non-academic activities that promote school/life balance and personal developments.

This is not the first time that I have personally queried the academic value of homework. As someone who has been a student their whole life and a current teacher, I make decisions every day about whether to do my own homework and assign homework to my students. Let’s start with my own personal experience. I will be honest, in most cases I do not enjoy going to traditional classes. This may be attributed to my learning style or maybe my personality, but I often do not retain what I am told. In most cases I learn best when I have an opportunity to sit down at home, review my notes or readings, and take my own time to think through a concept or idea. One of the main reasons why I enjoyed university so much was because most of the learning actually took place outside of class when I was researching, reading and writing essays on my own. Would I have done these readings and writings out of my own volition? Hell no!

In terms of my experience as a teacher, I expect students to finish any unfinished class work at home. This averages out to be seldom 0-2 times a week. I hate grading. Why give my students work and myself grading unless it is absolutely necessary?  Typically these assignments consist of worksheets that are parallel the material on the test, and about 30% of the class finishes it in class. Admittedly, introductory Spanish is quite easy at the high school level. It is mostly memorization and regurgitation. Therefore, my students mostly need practice writing the same words over and over again until they master spelling it or correctly agreeing the article and noun gender, etc.

On the other hand, maybe for some other subjects, there is simply not enough time in the period for a teacher to expose students to all the concepts or various math problems that they need to know.  This argument is coupled with the debate over an extended school day. Why extend a school day for work that a student could do at home, on his or her own time, and at their own pace? Furthermore, this debate highlights the challenges of differentiated instructions. What may take one student 5 minutes of class time to absorb, may take another student 30 minutes of homework.

All this being said, I think what is missing from this debate is an analysis of the quality of homework, not the quantity. I find constructive and concise homework to be very beneficial to me as a student and my student. While I see where Principal Hendricks is coming from in her letter, to completely dismiss the academic value of homework is careless.  Clearly an elementary school is much different from a high school or university, but young children should also get into the habit of doing homework, a skill that may benefit them in years to come.

  What did you think about the intern presentations? What impressed you the most? What questions do you still have?

I especially enjoyed watching the intern presentations last Saturday, because it was a great learning moment that did not require any work on my part. At the reunion, many early MTC alumni understandably criticized the early program’s focus on Mississippi culture and history instead of classroom training. While I don’t advocate focusing more on Mississippi culture, I do find any formal “Mississippi studies” type stuff useful. I think the intern presentation do a good job of incorporating such topics into the program, especially for the non-natives.

I enjoyed all of the presentation, but as usual, nothing surprised me. Mississippi seems to be in the bottom of the bucket when it comes to…pretty much everything. It has highest teen pregnancy rate, the lowest life expectancy for prison inmates, the worst performing schools, etc. in the country. Knowing this, I like how Tahina’s presentation sought to examine these socio-economic disparities from some Mississippian students’  point of view in her film Muted.  My favorite part was the opening when Trevor said, “ I think these kids would be shocked to know what we say about them.” Coming here as an outsider, I think it is so easy to judge and point out that which only supports our own preconceived notions. However, her film illustrates that despite all of these setbacks, students still have hope, they love their communities, and they value education. I would have like it if she included more student commentary in her video, but I understand how challenging it is. After six months of teaching the same kids day in and day out, I still did not have the opportunity to get to know them and truly gage their opinions.

I also found Asia’s presentation on The Innocence Project to be very interesting. Mississippi is the forgotten state, and Mississippi inmates are its most forgotten people. I personally find their inhumane living conditions embarrassing, not for them, but for this country.  I personally believe that everyone is entitled to decent health care. However, under the current political climate, I would find it difficult to advocate for better inmate healthcare when many Americans don’t even have health insurance.

            I don’t now why I have put off writing this blog for so long. I think I videotaped myself during the second week of school. I’ll admit that watching myself teach was pleasurably painful, but not so much that I had put it off this long.

            Anyhow, I’ll begin by saying that Ben was right, what struck my attention most was that I talked way too much! For some reason I had it in my head that a good visual would be me physically acting out parts of speech. I figured it would be memorable for the students. For instance, they could think back to me walking across the classroom when they were asked about parts of speech on a test. Hmmm…not so much. A lot of what I was teaching could have been better synthesised using good old fashioned notes. Also, using notes would provide the students with a concrete reference.

            Another thing that I didn’t like was the overhead guided practice. It restricts me physically one spot because I have to stay at the projector to write on it. Therefore, I am not able to move around the classroom and interact with the students. My team leader used a power point presentation on the whiteboard the other day, which I think is a good idea. It allowed her to move around and monitor the students, as well as provided the students with an opportunity to come up to the board and engage with the material. Hopefully my school will have a LCD projector. *fingers crossed*

            As for my strengths, I really like my overall teaching style. I think I have already discovered my true teacher persona, which is enthusiastic and interactive, yet firm. I project myself in a professional manner and really use my voice to set the tone for each activity. Furthermore, I am good at giving positive reinforcement, but only when truly deserved.

            What I have learned from watching this video is that talking is not as effective as it is cracked up to be. As delightful as my voice is, it becomes dull and superfluous after 10 minutes. Furthermore, since I will no longer be the educational visual, I need to find more practical and memorable visuals for my students.

What are the three areas you most need to work on as a teacher during July summer school?

1)      Within the actual bounds of summer school, I know that the area of my teaching that needs the most improvement is classroom management. As I discussed in an earlier blog, I am not a reluctant disciplinarian but a confused one. I often will not give my students consequences for poor behaviour because I genuinely am not sure what warrants punishment. I question myself unnecessarily. Not only is it annoying, but it distracts me from what I should really be doing, teaching!  For example, John (pseudonym) gets out of his seat to get his notebook. I therefore go through this crazy thought process as depicted below:

 Well, there is no specific rule that says not to get out of your seat. Maybe he didn’t want to interrupt my class, so he just got up and grabbed his notebook. Hmm…so I’ll just let John know he has stay in his seat. Should I make staying in your seat a new rule? What do I do next time someone gets out of their seat, punish them? Maybe I should let the class know that they can’t get out of their seat. Oh, but I can’t make up rules as we go along. Be consistent!

Now after this brief teacher breakdown, I have successfully wasted 30 seconds of my class time. Students already know what is and what is not appropriate classroom behaviour is. I do however, need to anticipate these types of scenarios and already have a plan of action without having to create 100 “do not” rules. I think the role plays will help carry out this type of proactive classroom management.

2)      Apart from my actual teaching, one thing I need to work on is my personal time management. The transition from university to an actual career is a challenging one that most of my other friends aren’t enduring right now. Like most MTCers, I skipped the whole “live with your parents, work an odd job, and travel around before you get a real job” stage. It was only two months ago that I was going to bed at 2 am, completing assignments the night before, and going to class an average of 10 hours/week.  I need to grow up and stick to a damn schedule. 

Goals:

·        I would like to be at least a day ahead on my lesson plans.

·        Procrastination is for losers.

·        Get eights hours of sleep a night….haha. I’m funny.  

·        Get over Toronto and realise I don’t live there anymore.

3)  I need to be organised. Surprisingly, before this summer I thought I was relatively organised; I guess not. My room is inundated with papers galore. I forget to give assignments back to my students. I loose track of time in and outside of the classroom. I bought a little filing attaché case thing, so that’s a good start. However, a new mac book would help me to create the documents necessary to keep track of papers. *wink wink*